No one wants to feel like a home wrecker. Not our blog. Not anyone.
But whether you run a bar, manage a dating site, or operate a live cam site, divorces and separations as a result of your business are inevitable. No one can control anyone’s behavior. With the adult industry, men or women straying on a virtual level is inevitable.
People turn to the adult industry, particularly porn and cams, to seek out a fantasy. It doesn’t always mean they are unhappy at home. But when a significant other discovers that their partner is dropping into live nude cam rooms, there’s hardly any way to smooth things over.
That said, there are better ways to approach the situation. Because in the end, it might not be as bad as it seems (say with me).
Be Honest
When we are caught doing anything we aren’t supposed to be doing, we tend to fudge the truth – or, we lie.
Its our natural instinct taking over.
In fact, we lie about simple actions, such as how much wine we drink at night. Even in situations where we had a mere two glasses of wine, we might drop that down to one glass when speaking to friends.
We can’t help ourselves.
If your SO or wife discovers you’ve been dropping in on adult cam girl rooms, she’s going to be lit. And you’re going to feel cornered, embarrassed, and exposed. And even though all the evidence works against you, you’ll probably still try to lie. Your lie may sound completely ridiculous, however, in the heat of the moment, it will seem better than telling the truth.
But what if I told you that telling the truth might be the path of least resistance.
Of course, admitting to your wife or girlfriend that you frequent live nude cam rooms feels a bit counterintuitive. That’s understandable. But stay with me.
You aren’t in love with the cam girls.
You aren’t touching the cam girls.
You could have opted to meet girls in real life, you haven’t.
You dropped in on cam girls because you desired a fantasy. In a way, it was role playing. And maybe your biggest crime was not discussing these thoughts and fantasies with your wife.
You need to reduce your actions to what they might actually be, rather than the seemingly overt affair she sees things as.
Now, let’s be clear, cheating is defined by breaking what a two people believe to be their boundaries. In most cases, viewing cam girls while in a relationship is cheating (at least to some degree). In conveying your truth, you aren’t trying to dodge that aspect of things. You aren’t rewriting the relationship’s standards and assumptions.
Instead, you’re minimizing the damage and getting to the heart of the matter. You were pursuing a fantasy and you weren’t comfortable discussing it with her. It was completely virtual.
And that leads us to the next therapeutic step.
Convey Why You Enjoy It (But In a Way That Benefits Her)
If she’s not still throwing your shoes at you, its time to explain what your fantasies are.
Many marriages and relationships grow stale. The sex stops feeling exciting as it did when you first began courting one another.
She understands this, also. She’s suffering in this, also.
In some ways, your reason for pursuing virtual sex fantasies are understandable to her, even if she doesn’t quite show it.
You don’t want to go on and on. Keep it simple. You felt X, so you pursued Z to fix it. It wasn’t right, but that’s how you moved forward. Remember, she’s probably feeling the same way.
And if she’s feeling the same way, she has her truth, her story, her needs. So you need to invite her to contribute to how she’s feeling. Because at this juncture, she may feel jaded that while you chose a path to fix your situation, she never did.
Listen To Her
Invite her to vent her frustrations over the relationship. And listen to her. Don’t interrupt or become defensive, remember, you’re the one under fire for behavior. You aren’t trying to turn the tables, you are merely listening to her vent her frustrations.
You might find that she wants more sex, more fun, more experimental pleasures. Maybe she’s into sex toy play, or even some light BDSM. But she’s been too shy to speak to any of that. But now that you’re busted chatting with XXX live cam girls, she feels comfortable putting her truth out there.
If you can restrain from becoming defensive, you’ll learn a lot of hot things. And this is where you might be able to pursue the best of both worlds.
Invite Her To Join In
Without being overtly candid, you might be able to invite her to join in on a live cam girl experience.
She’s jaded. She’s been underserved by you. She wants to know what gets you off, and likewise, you want to know what gets her off. If you drop in on a live cam girl room together, you can both learn what one another likes without going full swinger (like, physically speaking). Neither of you will physically touch another person. But you may engage in hooking up while the cam girl, or cam couple, watches you.
Maybe this all feels like unrealistic erotica that doesn’t happen to normal people. We get it. But keep something in mind, most people don’t react with honesty, they explode with defensiveness. Sometimes, these type situations can be a harbinger to a better way forward, a more sexually and emotionally evolved relationship.